God asks, "Do you trust Me?"

 Isaiah 43:1-2

"But now thus says the LORD, He who created you, O Jacob, He who formed you, O Israel: "Fear not, for I have redeemed you; I have called you by name, you are mine. When you pass through the waters, I will be with you; and through the rivers, they shall not overwhelm you; when you walk through the fire you shall not be burned, and the flame shall not consume you."

God gave me a picture. Imagine lying on your back on an inflatable going down a lazy river. It is a beautiful sunny day, with clear skies, a cool breeze, and the birds singing. You're smiling up at God, thinking how beautiful life is. God asks, "Do you trust Me?" Of course! The sun is shining radiantly, the birds are singing, there is a cool relaxing breeze waltzing through the space, and you are on a soothing, relaxing ride around steady reliable loops. You consider proving your trust in God by taking a nap. The atmosphere is so relaxing, and this ride is so steady. You don't really need to see what is around the next gentle bend when this part of the ride has been so calming and void of anything disruptive. You sigh contentedly and close your eyes, letting the gentle breeze and soothing swaying of the waters lull you to sleep. "Hold on to Me." You hear God whisper gently. You smile with your eyes still closed, and hug your arms around yourself before resettling in the raft. Nothing was going to happen. You open one eye to ensure that everything looks as it should and is under control. Up ahead is another gentle bend, you smile again, "God, you've got this, just keep it going steady." He asks again. "Do you trust Me?" Slightly irritated by the continued interruption to your scheduled nap, you reply, "Yes, of course. I already told you that." He does not respond but you feel His presence there with you. So, you smile once more and close your eyes, finally letting the cool breeze and gentle rocking of the water lull you to sleep. 

Your body alerts you before you open your eyes. Something is not quite right. The gentle rocking of the lazy river has turned choppy. The cool, gentle breeze has turned cold, and foreboding. Your eyes spring open as a chill runs down your spine. None of this is right. The sun is hidden behind heavy grey clouds that had not even been on the horizon earlier. The chorus of birds singing earlier had been replaced by the occasional warning caw of a single raven. You sit straight up, barely noticing how that movement shakes the raft, and take in the scene around you. You are no longer on the lazy river. 

You are in the middle of a wide, deep, not man-made river, full of mud and moss-covered rocks sticking up everywhere. Your pulse speeds up, and you can feel the blood pumping through your eardrums until soon that's all you can hear. You look up at the cloud-covered sky. "God what the heck is this?!?! I said I trusted You!! Where are You?? What are You doing??" All you can hear beyond the blood pumping wildly in your eardrums is a small and strong, yet pleading whisper, "Hold on to Me." 

You frown, as an angry response prepares to cross your lips. However, that response goes no further as the water supporting your raft falls from beneath it and you instantly plummet down. Your breath is stolen from your lungs and your heart leaps into your throat as you realize you are on rapids with many drops, dips, and plummeting waterfalls. Soon you find your voice once again and scream in terror as the raft ends its descent and crashes into the water below. 

Somehow you're still on the raft, and the raft is still afloat. You are completely shaken as you observe where you have landed. Thick fog lays over the river and covers any sign of land as the river widens. Panic starts to seize your lungs and your pulse quickens. It feels as though the fog inside your head is just as thick as the fog around you. Where is God? You wonder. Everything that you used to anchor yourself is gone. The beautiful sunshine, gentle waters, singing of the birds, and cool breeze. The only thing that remains is this raft. You close your eyes, tired of searching but finding no hope to anchor to. Despair threatens to reach a deafening pitch inside your mind, it roars like thunder, constant as the ocean tide. Tears slip down your face as you realize the futility of fighting this ever-rising panic and despair. All of a sudden you hear in your mind a voice louder than thunder, louder than despair. "My Child!" The voice roars and you can practically hear tears of love in God's voice. "Is the sun no longer present and active merely because you cannot see it? Merely because it is hidden from your sight?" Your panicked breathing slows a moment as you consider this. Only for a moment though, for it soon returns along with your anger. "God, why did you allow that? I said I trusted You and then You put me through hopelessness and terror! What was the purpose of that?" 

Writer interjection. The answer to God's question, "Do you trust Me?" is in the response to the situation. These rapids are not unexpected to God. When He asked, "Do you trust Me?" this situation was not an exception to the question. It is easy to trust when on the lazy river. It's easy to trust God, or even step away from trusting God and start thinking that we have it all under control when everything is going slow and smooth. What do we do when life speeds up and we can't see what's around the next bend, yet somehow God is still in control? God is asking us to trust Him. Same question, in drastically different scenarios. All of the sudden the future is not steady and predictable. Yet God asks the same question. Back to the story.

"My Child," God responds with a tenderness that cuts through my stubborn heart. "I never left you. In this broken world, there will be hopelessness and terror. I long to be your anchor and your rock in every single situation you go through in this world. For I am the only constant, the only steady you will find in this world. Can you trust Me to hold you in everything?"

Deuteronomy 31:6

"Be strong and courageous. Do not fear or be in dread of them, for it is the LORD your God who goes with you. He will not leave you or forsake you.”    

John 16:33

"I have said these things to you, that in me you may have peace. In the world you will have tribulation. But take heart; I have overcome the world.”

            

This is a story, basically based off of things I've been going through, and questions and reactions I have had. God helped me process in a new way. I'm not saying everyone has the same reactions or journey, one thing is the same for everyone though. God is our only constant rock.